last night i dreamt that the ex was talking to me. telling me about her life. her new life with her new gf and the things that they were doing together. like going to the MCA. going to Cary (huh? Cary, IL? wtf?) and halfway through their elevation (to this i replied-- i don't know what that is, she started to talk, and then i said i don't care). she told me she realized she didn't really know me at all while she loved me. or maybe it was that she didn't really know me at all and therefore couldn't love me. i don't know. but it was a bad dream. still, when i woke up i found myself wanting to go back to sleep right into that dream to see what else she had to say. strange. because i don't want to see her. i don't want to talk to her. i don't even want to think of her.

after all of this, coming up on 6 months, and it still hurts.

Would you be willing to get down on your knees in the dirt and howl out adamant prayers? Would you be crazy enough and sane enough to beg the gods, muses, and guardian angels to dissolve anything that's interfering with your ability to be your authentic self and live the life you were born to live? Until you do, you may have to tolerate being less than authentic and living only part of the life you were born to live. The good news is that it's a perfect moment to start smashing the obstructions to your happiness. (courtesy of freewill astrology)