happy veterans day to all you non working folk. i'm at work, and probably don't need to be. but i'm kind of ocd about being at work and being there on time. i have no problem shooting the day to shit by watching "knocked up" or the 2nd season of battlestar galactica while at my desk. but i just must be there!

i'm dehydrated and drained from this weekend, and i'm tempted to write down the words "i'm never drinking again," but know that doing so would indeed be a lie, so i'll refrain.

i got drrrrrrrrrrrrrrunk at a wedding this weekend, and my stomach, liver, bowels, and head paid for it all day yesterday. you know whats fun? puking in an airport. oh, its also fun to puke in your hotel room and in the hotel lobby bathroom. i'm going to have to add puking in strange bathrooms to one of my interested on my myspace page, shoooot.

the bad thing about the excessive drinking is that i didn't feel as drunk as i probably was- and i didn't have nearly as much fun drinking with my college ladies and then being ridiculously hungover in MN as i did last time i was there. i guess it can't all be polka and laughter all the time.

this marks the 3rd college roomie getting married. and that makes me the last of the 3 single ones, i guess. not that i mind it. i think that there is something to be said about being the single one amongst the heteros vs. being the single one amidst the homos. it just feels different.

there were babies abound at the wedding. and that makes me a bit sad. not for the people who are now parents, as their children are beautiful, and the light of their lives. but it is just another brick in the wall that continues to separate my life from theirs. quite obviously, being in charge of someone else's life is a huge responsibility, but it seems like fun fell out the window for these folks.

in particular, i am referring to the girl i loved in college. saturday after the wedding, i think all that alcohol got to me. and i ended up sequestering myself in the bathroom, listening to my ipod and writing. about how we had very little interaction. about how strange it is to be so close to someone and then realize that there is just nothing there anymore. i wrote about how i know that my high school love(r) is, was, and will always be aware of the things that we shared. and while we don't really talk anymore, i know that she knows that at one point in time i was in love with her, and for a brief time, she reciprocated. i don't get that feeling from the college girl. i get...nothing. its like dead air between us. we had maybe a 5 minute conversation about her baby. and that was it. i mean really. we sat at different tables at the wedding, and she and the hubby disappeared early.

i know that we have grown up and apart. and i've known that for a long time. we had a falling out a few years ago (5?). but things still seemed very...personable between us after enough time passed.

i wouldn't say that the silence between us hurts, per say, but it is a strange sort of awkward feeling, with an air of pain looming about. sometimes i still think i'm in love with her. no, scratch that. i'm not in love with her, i love her. and i miss the closeness that we had, but you didn't catch me crying about it this weekend. and you don't catch me crying about it now (at least not lately).

i'm off to not do much. oh, adulthood...