where have i been? i don't know. here. there. down snowy sidewalks, stuck at my desk, alseep and hungover, out on the town. bowling, kicking balls, doing asanas, breathing, and working. that's where i've been.

i've been in a place where its ok to stay late at work, eat cold chicken for dinner, and head to bed 2.5 hours after getting home. that has been a-ok. i've been in a place where i'll soon be wearing glasses. where i'm confused. where i've taken down all my paintings from foreign walls and returned them to my home.

i've been in a place where i haven't wanted to write, and haven't been painting that much either. and i'm ok with that too.

i'm just still in a place of confusion about being with someone. i go from wanting a date, wanting someone to cuddle with, someone to kiss, someone to talk to late at night...to being repulsed (ok, that might be too strong of a word) by the idea of being close to someone. or maybe its just the idea in my head that i don't think i could find someone that i like enough to get close too. those days seem so far away.

so far away.