connection.

who doesn't want an organic connection. something real and unexpected. something gut wrenching and heart-string plucking.

i would like that. in fact you could even say that i need that. even if it is just a solid friendship. i could use something like that.

or maybe i just need satisfaction. some sort of satisfaction, and the most obvious manifestation comes through a personal connection. if i could find satisfaction through painting. if i could find satisfaction through rock climbing or playing soccer or doing a great job at work. but i'm not. because i'm a libra. ruled by venus. ruled by balance. but mostly ruled by venus. and that is becoming a problem.

i'm not interested in becoming the person i was before the girlfriend. of course at the same time that i say that, i'm thinking that i don't know how to be the person i was with the girlfriend. everything seems foreign, even to a point where i don't know what i'm looking for anymore. i'm looking for not looking.

so for now i'll just watch more jon and kate plus 8. love that show.