1. this girlyman album that i discovered years ago, "who i am" makes me think of two things when i listen to it. college. and some sort of deep down pervasive sadness that is not directly linked anyone in particular- more linked to a dissatisfaction of love that slips slips away.

2. there is a strange dichotomy in my life. there are things that i do to keep myself well: yoga, soccer, and rock climbing. but there is something that goes along with soccer that completely nullifies the good things that come out of it. we have "socializations" that involve visiitng our sponsors, which are inevitably bars. which inevitably turns into a drunken night. and i've made quite a few good acquaintances through this process...all of them men of course.

3. in relation to #2, there is a girl who i met through soccer who turns out to have taken quite the liking towards me. and it is unfortunate. you know, that i think she's cute and that i think she's super sweet. but that i don't find her attractive at all. something is missing. balls. confidence. something else...missing. and i feel bad. it's not that she brought it up to me. but. whatever.

4. there is something here that i don't know how to describe: http://www.girlyman.com/themusic/lyrics.php?song_id=48

5. this is good. this internet thing. maybe not necessarily me staying up later than i should and poking about in places that don't mean anything. but maybe i'll be writing more. better for you and somehow, better for me.