update: i have a strange suspicion that my mother and or father are reading this. if you are, i will write the exact same thing i wrote in my paper diaries growing up: this is NOT for you. i'd rather not have to lock this diary. ok, now that i've got that embarrassing tirade out of the way... somewhere somehow in the midst of everything, i forgot to celebrate my thousandth entry. i was going to go all out. you know, cupcakes, candles, the cure, and a dark room.

ok i had no intention of doing that but it could be fun. next time.

i'm listening to sad songs- but only because itunes is on party shuffle. and so the recently added moby is playing "when its cold i'd like to die." ok, too sad. i'll have to change it. hey there, have some modest mouse.

so, since i'm slightly ocd, or at least self-obsessed with people in my life (or lack there of), let's talk about the girl. by actually typing the phrase "the girl." and writing about it, i'm probably making more out of a situation than really exists. welcome to my world. over analyzed.

we chatted briefly online today. i made the first move. it's not even important what we talked about. it's just notable that she is not as...friendly as you'd think someone would be. maybe i just expect people to care too much.

i'm not sure how to even go about asking someone out. do i do that? no. have i ever asked someone out? probably. but not in traditional way. asking someone for something that i want is like speaking a foreign language. fumbly. uncomfortable. like dreaming about chewing on wet socks (which i do in fact dream about). it's not that i don't know how to be assertive and ask for what i want. i just don't want to face the consequences of the wrong answer. or the floating nausea in between here and there.

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speaking of hot ladies, i swear today my yoga teacher called me "love" and "hun." both in passing. but she's a)not southern, and 2)she's not british, and c)i've never heard her utter either of those before.

today was my last official class with her unless i follow her to a different yoga studio. she helped change my life in small, but important ways. now i guess i move on.