it is close to 2am here and i'm really pretty hungry. why? because i walked almost 4 miles this evening. with whom? the work crush.

let's get the excitement out of the way: first date! i suppose this was an official first date as i asked her to hang out and we did date like things. it was essentially 3 dates rolled into 1. first we went bowling. she beat me 2 games to 1, though neither of us were on top of our games. i had 3 beers while we were there because i was for sure nervous. i just kind of clam up around her.

then we went to go see a movie. time out, first we went to chip0tle and picked up some food to sneak into the theatre. about 35 minutes in i finally worked up the courage to hold her hand. that took a lot of courage, though i'm not sure why, since i am aware that there is already an attraction there. i know, i'm a dork for writing about holding hands, but give me a break this is only the 2nd real date i've had since the breakup. holding hands, kind of important. it means a lot more than a drunken makeout session in my opinion.

then without an idea of what to do, and it being already 10:30, i suggested we walk around downtown since it was a pretty damn nice evening. she told me stories about the city and about the buildings, so much so that it almost made me feel like a tourist. fast forward 2 hours, 4 miles (we pretty much held hands the entire time) and at least 10 degrees cooler we part ways. but not after her asking me if it would be better if i just go to her house since it is closer. i tell her i would like to, but it is late and that would require me actually getting up ass early to go back home to then go back to work. PLUS the fact that i will see her tomorrow, well, i feel like staying the night on the first date is maybe jumping the gun a bit.

the goodbye was awkward as she flagged down a cab, hugged me, and she departed with a quick and strange peck on the lips. there were plenty of opportunities for me to kiss her, 1 being at the movie, but every time i looked at her, she didn't look back in my direction. i could have kissed her at countless stop lights, but what can i say, i'm a pussy.

it was a great evening and i can only hope that i let my guard down more and more as we get closer. and as our kisses get less awkward.

that's all for now, i'm f'ing tired.